You dedicated 1000 words of precious marketing copy to an incoherent rant about a 4Chan character?

el Prof
January 9, 2022

Who is Chad?

You know him as the ultimate alpha, the straw man bane of the alt right, the riot grrl bogeyman, or, perhaps, the mononym for the eponymous culture whore bringing you the Internet’s least essential coverage every Tues and Thurs. Now, in typical Randian fashion, El Prof has arrived, here to reinvent the ubermensch in my own image – the privileged, jerk-off, silver-spoon-suckling variety.

Chad as a symbol is a fascinating paradox. On the one hand, the alpha white male archetype owes its own life to the incels who hate him, an idol striking both fear and envy into the same Internet trolls who birthed him. On the other, he’s rejected by the progressive left, who understand that true power lies with those divorced from archetypes, secure in their own authenticity. But what if Chad symbolized both? 

I believe Chad, the meme, should be rebranded as a Christ-like aspirational ideal to the men who alternatively adore and abhor him. Not as a girlfriend-stealing, beta-dunking asshole, of course, but as the poster boy of personal security, who answers even the most cutting questions with a sole, simple, ‘Yes.’ He’s someone so aware of his own nuance of being that he wouldn’t even think to assert his perceived power, because it’d be disingenuous to his truest self.

The lifelong journey to become a Chad would be about challenging all the core intangibles of a conscious human experience on earth, striving to embody the ideal of a mentally educated, metaphysically open Adonis, to understand that life is about achieving balance, not the lopsided, fleeting dopamine rush of power dynamics.

Of course, I’m under no illusion that people struggle to take myths in the spirit in which they were written, preferring the literal dogmatic readings, which in this case would likely end up with a church worshipping Elon Musk as the next coming of Jesus. (Oh wait. Sorry. Didn’t mean to just write you out of your own story, crypto degens.) But, at the same time, I also think we need a story like this for the young Chads, currently being radicalized in the dark corners of the Internet, discovering all of the power of applying discipline and patience for your life, but none of the self-reflection needed to balance it out.

The myth of Chad is a call for self-improvement, and growth, to an audience with the privilege and power to make positive changes in the world easier than any other group, but currently too busy owning their own worst tendencies – and, of course, the libs – because their idols are being cast as both unstoppable force and villain.

Otherizing anything tends to lead to these bubble bursting moments in culture, but recognizing inflating tensions as they’re ballooning gives us the opportunity to relieve some pressure – even if it’s just by way of some good old fashioned memification.

Besides. What’s the worst thing that could happen? Well, I mean, other than this myth falling into the hands of a powerful conservative institution intent on repurposing and miscontextualizing its teachings to justify warmongering, status-quo-upholding, rampant abuse, expansive greed, and homogeneous thinking… but that would never happen to this pure message of collective and self love. Right?

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