There’s no punchline. Just this week in web3 news.

• OpenSea bought an NFT aggregator, Gem, which allows users to buy NFTs from multiple marketplaces in a single click. OpenSea intends to integrate Gem’s functionality, but allow it to continue operations as an independent entity, which, like, what? But, for those of you with rooting interests in the web3 Monopoly match, the NFT platform that has a >90% market share already and now is capable of funneling its competitors’ purchases through its own platform just keeps seeming like a safer and safer bet.
   
• The guy who rugpulled a couple dozen crypto projects a few months back is, well, back. After broadcasting his exit from the crypto space and tanking the value of every token he’d helped to launch — after cashing out his own, I’m sure — Andre Croje is now teasing new ‘regulation focused crypto projects’. INB4, a few months from now, he inevitably rugpulls Janet Yellen. 
   
• Some Bored Apes got stolen. Again. I wish I were wowed by any part of this story. That a handful of these things are theoretically worth $3M. That they’re functionally so damn easy to steal. I’m not. Not even a bit. I, too, am bored.