This week I found a video from @tooturntony on TikTok that at least 3.2M souls have wasted their precious time on Earth storing into their short term memory. But reading too deep into mind-numbingly short and dumb videos is all the rage amongst the kids these days, so let’s play like Tony’s dad and see if we can hang.

We see Tony, looking none too turnt, out for an afternoon bar crawl with his pops. Note the five-inch-inseam shorts and the cowboy hat with the giant cross — not sure what sort of personality disorder they symbolize, but clearly not one of the good ones. Dad’s then seen tossed in the back seat of Mom’s car, clinging to the last straws of an alcohol tolerance from his own fraternity days, and, from the looks of the shit stains on his shirt, I’m guessing some of this morning’s protein shake.

As the wealth inequality gap continues to widen, gross displays of excess — like day drinking at a pizza, ribs, salad, and sandwich joint contradictorily called Carry Out — reflect the vanity and emptiness accompanying traditional success in this country.

I can’t be mad at Too Turnt’ony or his dad for their questionable choice in father-son bonding activities, but I can be sad at what this cultural norm says about the state of the United ones. (And at that cowboy hat. I can definitely be mad at that.)