Shallow-ween.

Casimir Stone
October 21, 2021

Martha Stewart is now following in her boy Snoop’s footsteps — as of this morning, a series of limply gif-ed pumpkin carvings and Instagram thirst traps are available on the lifestyle mogul’s website as NFTs. As far as morally bankrupt pivots slash shallow cash grabs, this ranks far to the left of Facebook’s looming name change, but still. We’re charging 1eth for naughty nurse costume iPhone photos now? Somewhere in a sorority house, Bitch Better Have My Money just came on.

Stewart’s joins Playboy Magazine and JD.com in the latest batch of unexpected converts to the NFT game. I’m not saying these fossilized media properties are in any way indicative of the future of NFTS — On the scale of yodeling Walmart kid to Steve Buscemi in 30 Rock, these existentially depressing attempts skew aggressively toward the latter. But we’ve been beating the drum of NFTs as the future of art, media, and eCommerce for a while now. And when begging for widespread adoption, there’s no point in being choosy.

Besides, as uninspiring as this particular move may be, there’s no question Martha’s a brilliant businesswoman. Here’s hoping the media focus on this story is the proximity of yet another innovative family name getting involved in the crypto space, not just further proof that high profile scams and insider trading will be the blockchain’s legacy.

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