Not pictured: art

el Prof
March 24, 2022

Maybe we’ve been sipping too much nectar today with our spotlight on OlympusDAO, a group whose philosophy for the most part aligns with our own, right down to the game theory and God complex. Let us be the Romans to their Greeks, then, here to pillage their technology, values, and entire system of belief, while condemning the one thing that truly defines a culture — their taste. 

In addition to making a play for becoming the central bank of crypto and ripping off one of our high-deas verbatim, the Ohmies are, predictably, launching their own NFT marketplace. (A classic triptykhos of disruptive blockchain collectives.) Their stated goal is to create an exchange of NFTs ‘for DeFi natives’ — which, unless I’m mistaken, describes all NFTs. Their strategy sounds pretty redundant, too. The platform will launch on Ethereum with the goal of ‘adding royalties to the DAO’s treasury without sending them to OpenSea.’ A prophetic artistic vision this is not.

They intended to soft launch Olympus Odyssey on March 3rd — or (3,3), because, memes. However, as far as I can glean from the Twitter account, they’re still just rolling out their ‘ecosystem partners’, aka the ‘dozen different [NFT] projects […] propped up by Ohmies’, as referenced in their launch announcement. Unfortunately, the innovation of their DeFi protocol does not extend to what is surely destined to be the Tidal of shill marketplaces, at best. But at least it did give me a truly absurd cash grab to pan today. 

MUSHROHMS — hilariously still hosted on OpenSea, for the time being — is the inaugural Odyssey collection, consisting of collectible mushrooms with a Supreme-ly blatant Olympus logo hovering overhead, plus, all the phallic fixation of a Phidias exhibit. I can’t say that the 3D rendering in this artwork isn’t suffienct quality, but if memeability is a key pillar in the burgeoning field of tokenomics, I’m sure they could do better than:

MUSHROHMS are supposed to be the fungi of the gods, growing on the top of Mt. Olympus for the rare, blessed few to harvest and ‘change the consciousness of this world and beyond’. Apparently, the key to enlightenment is eating dick. For some reason, I can’t imagine spreading that particular new age philosophy on Oprah. 

The optimists / psychoactive self-medicating spiritualists in us hope that the Olympus Odyssey marketplace eventually reflects the creativity of the DAO’s blockchain protocol, living up to its as-yet-unfulfilled promises of multichain capabilities, or, at least, ‘novel services’. In the meantime, someone needs to get this collection’s lore master some Edith Hamilton, because any mythology enthusiast worth his toga knows the Greek gods’ drug of choice was ambrosia. Which, given OlympusDAO’s unique approach to community-building, just feels like an oversight.

Then again, carrying around giant penis statues was a bonafide Dionysian tradition, so… perhaps MUSHROHMS are on brand, after all. 

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