Get it?

We don’t have a sponsor!

Okay, so the joke’s not as funny once we explain it. But we will eventually, surely, so enjoy it while it lasts. For now, all we need are those sweet, sweet clicks — and not just for the dopamine hits we’re so clearly addicted to. Today our sponsor is you.

And if you’d like a cool $250 to funnel into your Robinhood crypto wallet, be sure to get it out to your little brother who’s a tycoon of the Pokemon card resale market, your sorority sis frenemy who made a million off dogecoin, and — well, probably not your racist uncle who tried to pump and dump AMC stocks, but you get the idea.

The winner will be announced a week from today, in our 9.30.21 email. Stay tuned.